WrestleMania Pyro Budget Exceeds GDP of Small Nation; Audience to be Given Sunglasses and Life Insurance Waivers

LAS VEGAS, NV — In a stunning display of fiscal recklessness and patriotic explosions, WrestleMania 41 has officially surpassed the gross domestic product of at least one Eastern European country in pyrotechnics spending alone.

Sources within WWE confirmed the pyro budget for this year’s event topped $2.3 billion, a number roughly equivalent to the entire GDP of Montenegro—or roughly 14.7 Roman Reigns NFTs.

“We were gonna cut back,” said WWE Chief Pyro Officer Rick ‘Boomer’ Malone, wiping soot off his clipboard. “But then Paul [Levesque] walked in, lit a Roman candle in the boardroom, screamed ‘MAKE THE SKY BLEED,’ and the rest is history.”

A Light Show That Can Be Seen from Space

NASA scientists have already reported satellite interference due to the “explosive wrestling haze” over Nevada, prompting a brief NORAD alert mistaking WrestleMania for an intercontinental ballistic attack.

“We picked up a heat signature normally reserved for solar flares,” said Dr. Lena Marcus of the Space Weather Center. “Either the sun sneezed or Seth Rollins entered with too much sparkle.”

As a precaution, every attendee was issued:

• WWE-branded polarized sunglasses
• A waiver acknowledging ‘extreme photonic risk’
• A small laminated card reading, ‘In case of emergency, shield eyes and chant This is Awesome’

The Fire That Keeps on Giving

The show is planning to open with 47 minutes of uninterrupted pyro. At one point during a rehearsal, flames shot 60 feet into the air as Logan Paul was introduced while descending from a drone-rigged diamond-encrusted eagle.

Randy Orton’s entrance reportedly caused a small brush fire in Deep in Vegas.

Paul Responds

Asked to comment on the astronomical budget, Paul Levesque—sporting a headset, leather jacket, and faint aroma of gunpowder—simply screamed “WRESTLING IS ART,” then elbow-dropped a burning table labeled Budget Restraint.

When questioned whether the expenses were necessary, he defended the choices. “Look, people want a spectacle. You don’t go to the Super Bowl to not feel like your eyebrows are at risk.”

He then added, “Besides, have you seen Cody Rhodes’ entrance? That’s at least $900,000 in spark showers per night. And that’s the economy version.”

Economists Are Concerned

“I honestly don’t know what to say anymore,” said Professor Grant Fielding from the Global Finance Institute. “This is the only sports entertainment event where fireworks inflation is now considered a primary economic indicator.”

Meanwhile, the United Nations issued a mild rebuke, stating, “We respectfully request that WWE stop outspending sovereign nations on fireworks and consider perhaps funding global water projects instead.”

The Future of Pyro

With WrestleMania 42 already in the works, insiders report next year’s pyro plans include:

• A full-scale volcano built in the center of the ring
• Entrance music played via synchronized missile launches
• A main event surrounded by an aurora borealis-style laser net that requires FAA clearance

As Paul Levesque stood atop a flaming Titantron and screamed “THIS IS ONLY PHASE ONE,” one couldn’t help but admire the subtlety.