In a quiet corner of rural Vermont, 67-year-old Roger Whitman remains blissfully unaware that he is the last person on Earth without a smartphone. Whitman, who still uses a flip phone he bought in 2003, believes Read More
In a shocking accusation that left meteorologists scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has accused Canada of stealing American snow, calling it “one of the greatest thefts in history” and demanding its immediate return. Read More
In a rare display of unity, Congress has come together to pass a groundbreaking bipartisan bill—ironically, to ensure they never agree on anything ever again. The “No More Agreement Act of 2024” sailed through both Read More
In a shocking twist of irony that feels like it was ripped straight out of a dystopian novel, the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter is facing life imprisonment for taking one life, while the late CEO is Read More
In his latest unconventional policy proposal, former President Donald Trump has announced he is considering imposing a tariff on gravity, claiming the natural force is unfairly “holding America down” while other nations continue to “float Read More
Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left Republicans fuming and late-night comedians scrambling for punchlines, President Joe Biden officially pardoned Smokey Bear on Thursday, absolving the iconic mascot of all alleged crimes the Read More
Washington, D.C. — In a groundbreaking move designed to “inject excitement and intensity” into America’s education system, newly appointed Education Secretary Linda McMahon announced her first sweeping reform: determining valedictorians through ladder matches, with Read More
In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and Whole Foods lovers alike, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced today that the infamous bacterium Escherichia coli—commonly known as E. Read More
In what some are calling the most unexpected crossover since Avengers: Endgame, President-elect Donald Trump has reportedly reached out to Disney executives with a formal request to become an official Avenger. His reasoning? “I’m Read More
In an unprecedented announcement that has left both political analysts and Trekkies in disbelief, President-elect Donald Trump revealed his intention to launch a preemptive strike on Romulus, citing its “aggressive posturing” and “fake cloaking technology.” Read More
Enter the Void
