Category :Articles

In a harrowing ordeal that lasted nearly seven minutes, billionaire CEO Charles Van Gleeson of retail conglomerate Cörpzon Inc. was forced to evacuate his favorite downtown coffee shop after a barista, identified only as “Read More

In a surprising turn of events, leaders of various illicit cartels have publicly expressed their gratitude to President Donald Trump for his recent imposition of tariffs on imports from Canada, Mexico, and China. The 25% tariffs, Read More

In a quiet corner of rural Vermont, 67-year-old Roger Whitman remains blissfully unaware that he is the last person on Earth without a smartphone. Whitman, who still uses a flip phone he bought in 2003, believes Read More

In a shocking accusation that left meteorologists scratching their heads, former President Donald Trump has accused Canada of stealing American snow, calling it “one of the greatest thefts in history” and demanding its immediate return. Read More

In a shocking twist of irony that feels like it was ripped straight out of a dystopian novel, the UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter is facing life imprisonment for taking one life, while the late CEO is Read More

In his latest unconventional policy proposal, former President Donald Trump has announced he is considering imposing a tariff on gravity, claiming the natural force is unfairly “holding America down” while other nations continue to “float Read More

Washington, D.C. — In a move that has left Republicans fuming and late-night comedians scrambling for punchlines, President Joe Biden officially pardoned Smokey Bear on Thursday, absolving the iconic mascot of all alleged crimes the Read More

Washington, D.C. — In a groundbreaking move designed to “inject excitement and intensity” into America’s education system, newly appointed Education Secretary Linda McMahon announced her first sweeping reform: determining valedictorians through ladder matches, with Read More

In a bold move that has sent shockwaves through the scientific community and Whole Foods lovers alike, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced today that the infamous bacterium Escherichia coli—commonly known as E. Read More